Boymom: Never Thought I'd Say..... and Little Moments....
Boymom: Things I Never Thought I'd Say....
And Little Moments I'll Never Forget....
By: Athea Armstrong-Wilson
- "You know what? You're right son.... bright green rubber frog boots are completely acceptable to wear with any outfit."
- "No sweetie.... putting newspaper down is not going to potty train your little brother."
- "Who keeps gluing thumb tacks to the nerf gun bullets?"
After taking our seats at the dinner table, my youngest was nominated by his big brothers to say grace. There sat my little boy at the age of 3 confidently clearing his throat. Just seconds after we had all joined hands and bowed our heads, he began to say grace..... "A B C D E F G......" Not one giggle escaped our mouths, but rather we all joined in. And in perfect unison.....a joyful "Amen!"
- "There is no such thing as a caterpillar that sews your eyes and mouth shut while you're sleeping."
- "Baby, your brother was wrong... there is no such thing as a weiner bandit.... you can let go of it."
- " Who made the macaroni and cheese with ketchup sandwich?"
- "No no no... today is not 'clothing is optional' day!"
One of my boys thought it would be a great idea to get a can of gold spray paint to explode. After vigorously smacking it on the ground and throwing large rocks at it.... the can lost the battle. Into the house ran who I thought was my son, but now resembled a very poor movie quality c3po!
- "And you thought that urinating into the water pistol was appropriate?"
- "Oh yes, the poop fairy is real! She just knows baby.... no 'that' doesn't need to go under your pillow."
- "You got how many fruit loops to stick to your brothers face today?"
"Yes I'd like 4 double cheeseburgers minus onion and mustard add extra pickle, 2 McChickens without lettuce, 4 plain hamburgers two without ketchup and mustard, two with extra pickle, a grilled chicken sandwich add cheese, 2 orders of your 10 piece nuggets, 2 large fry, 2 medium fry, a large chocolate milkshake, 2 medium vanilla milkshakes, 3 small cokes, one without ice please, 2 orders of your apple slices, 3 yogurts, 1 nugget happy meal, 1 cheeseburger happy meal, and 1 large diet coke please. Oh, can you please add 2 more McChickens without lettuce, but light on the mayo? And add on 2 BBQ McRib sandwiches please? Okay thank you.... HOW MUCH?!"
- "Please stop trying to bite your brother. No, he does not have rabies!"
- "Well your magic nose goblins belong in a tissue not in your brothers hair!"
- "No child has ever ended up on the Dr. Phil show claiming their life ruined because their mother made them eat their broccoli."
- "Wanna try the potty again baby? Great! Grab a handful of cheerios! Sink em sink em sink em!"
And Little Moments I'll Never Forget....
By: Athea Armstrong-Wilson
- "You know what? You're right son.... bright green rubber frog boots are completely acceptable to wear with any outfit."
- "No sweetie.... putting newspaper down is not going to potty train your little brother."
- "Who keeps gluing thumb tacks to the nerf gun bullets?"
After taking our seats at the dinner table, my youngest was nominated by his big brothers to say grace. There sat my little boy at the age of 3 confidently clearing his throat. Just seconds after we had all joined hands and bowed our heads, he began to say grace..... "A B C D E F G......" Not one giggle escaped our mouths, but rather we all joined in. And in perfect unison.....a joyful "Amen!"
- "There is no such thing as a caterpillar that sews your eyes and mouth shut while you're sleeping."
- "Baby, your brother was wrong... there is no such thing as a weiner bandit.... you can let go of it."
- " Who made the macaroni and cheese with ketchup sandwich?"
- "No no no... today is not 'clothing is optional' day!"
One of my boys thought it would be a great idea to get a can of gold spray paint to explode. After vigorously smacking it on the ground and throwing large rocks at it.... the can lost the battle. Into the house ran who I thought was my son, but now resembled a very poor movie quality c3po!
- "And you thought that urinating into the water pistol was appropriate?"
- "Oh yes, the poop fairy is real! She just knows baby.... no 'that' doesn't need to go under your pillow."
- "You got how many fruit loops to stick to your brothers face today?"
"Yes I'd like 4 double cheeseburgers minus onion and mustard add extra pickle, 2 McChickens without lettuce, 4 plain hamburgers two without ketchup and mustard, two with extra pickle, a grilled chicken sandwich add cheese, 2 orders of your 10 piece nuggets, 2 large fry, 2 medium fry, a large chocolate milkshake, 2 medium vanilla milkshakes, 3 small cokes, one without ice please, 2 orders of your apple slices, 3 yogurts, 1 nugget happy meal, 1 cheeseburger happy meal, and 1 large diet coke please. Oh, can you please add 2 more McChickens without lettuce, but light on the mayo? And add on 2 BBQ McRib sandwiches please? Okay thank you.... HOW MUCH?!"
- "Please stop trying to bite your brother. No, he does not have rabies!"
- "Well your magic nose goblins belong in a tissue not in your brothers hair!"
- "No child has ever ended up on the Dr. Phil show claiming their life ruined because their mother made them eat their broccoli."
- "Wanna try the potty again baby? Great! Grab a handful of cheerios! Sink em sink em sink em!"
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